Relationships are made up of two people.  Within those two people are often very different personality traits.  According to Dr. Keirsey, these traits can be broken up into four categories:

How you ACT (Introvert/Extrovert)

How you GATHER INFORMATION (Intuitive/Sensing)

How you MAKE DECISIONS (Thinking/Feeling)

How you EXECUTE (Judging/Perceiving)

At the beginning of our marriage prep course we were asked to take Dr. Keirsey’s Temperament Sorter II.  This is a 70 question test that will ask you to make decisions based on a given situation.  You are only allowed two choices per question, and it is suggested that you answer based on your first instinct.  At the end of the test you are given a score sheet, and this will help you add up your answers, that will provide you with a result.  This result will indicate whether or not you are more of an introvert or extrovert, sensing or intuitive, thinking or feeling, and judging or perceiving.

Throughout the two hours we talked about the differences in each personality trait, and what types of behaviors/decision a person of that trait might reflect.  Many people may be on the fence.  For instance, I am an introvert around people I’m not familiar with.  When I am around people I am comfortable with, I am extremely extroverted.  However, when executing tasks I am an extremely judging personality.  I like lists, schedules, goals, and timeliness.  

Over the course of the evening Steven and I learned more and more about ourselves, while solidifying what we already knew about each other.  Steven is very introverted, likes information to be concrete, but will make the decision based on empathy.  The “perceiving” trait in him indicates that he prefers to “go-with-the-flow.”  He is flexible and see’s lists as guidelines.

I, however, am introverted, and I gather information intuitively.  I run on hunches, and what might feel right.  Like Steven, I base my decisions on the feelings of others.  However, I LOVE lists.  I own a day planner and often stick to it.  “Going-with-the-flow” seems very careless and un-productive to me. 

After learning these traits about each other, we had a better understanding as to why each of us do things.  As you can see, we are NOT the same type of personality.  In one case, we are COMPLETE opposites.  However, its how you communicate and compromise with each others “faults” that you really start to build a relationship.   I would highly suggest that every relationship (brother/sister, friends, couples, etc), consider taking a personality test similar to this and really analyze WHY you get so frustrated, and how to overcome those frustrations. 

In the end, we learned that we are different and that’s frustrating at times, but it’s okay.  That just means HE has to talk to ME more.

Tune in next week for a recap of our session on COMMUNICATION.

Be yourself!  Everyone else is taken.