Guest Post from Alvion Harris @ http://www.AlvionTV.com/blog
Personality Testing Sign
I had the pleasure of spending some quality time with our favorite relationship personalities this past week. So in light of their famous pre-marriage relationship posts. I thought I would add my 2 cents to the cause. People think relationship conflicts are the agitation of one party on another. However, when two people learn to communicate effectively the agitation leads to understanding. With major differences in their personalities Steven & Rhemy must be ripe for conflict. Not true! The dynamics work very well especially when absent of certain external pressures. From my perspective there are very few conflicts if time, opportunity cost, and impression are managed correctly.
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Time:
Because our time together was a low-key vacation environment the only time pressure was being with each other and having fun. This usually calms dominate traits and allows relaxation.
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Opportunity Cost:
Life usually requires there to be a trade off. With personalities it usually means one party has to win and another lose. Its why men usually don’t get to play “Baby got back” at the wedding till later in the reception and something more sentimental like “I Will Always Love You” is on repeat the first hours. Opportunity cost is managed by compromise. This where the communication can be most important if either party feels slighted things fall apart. When everyone is onboard from the beginning (they both chose vacation details) then the opportunity cost issue is settled.
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Impression:
The brunt of most relationship conflicts hinges up perception of the lasting impression they are making. Everyone has known each other for years and the need to impress or leave an impression is zero. Its easy to avoid conflicts because past experience assures everything will be okay despite the short-term perception.
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Key Moments Relationship Personalities Showed:
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Rhemy an INFP personality
Without a defined schedule her planning side was satisfied with an agenda of activities to do, but no time constraints for them.
She jumped right into dynamic conversation and expressed herself.
When a decision was being made she expressed options.
Steven an ISFJ personality
He was game for any activity and took whatever came up in stride.
Once the conversation picked up he fed off that energy and participated.
The decision had to make everyone happy so only that option was acceptable.
My impression is that the success of our time together was a combination of the environment and longevity of knowing each other. In this case it was less about communication because no high consequence decisions had to be made. I find it interesting that these are some of the same key factors for a successful marriage. Everything appears to be going well to until these factors start to work against you. Just my 2 okay maybe 3 cents.
-Alvion Harris
http://www.AlvionTV.com & http://www.AlvionHarris.com Plus on Twitter: Follow me on Twitter
